What is a Playful Party?

Imagine yourself walking into a private party.

But not any private party. This one is.. different.

As you walk in the door, you notice how well both men and women are dressed, how good, how open, how sexy they look and feel. As you step deeper, the atmosphere gets warmer, the decor, the lighting is.. richer, more intimate, more vibrant. Here a woman is kissing another woman. Here a group of old and new friends are smiling at each other while caressing and nibbling faces, necks, arms and backs. The evening has barely begun, and already people are getting to know each other in fun, creative and sensual ways. The cocktail part of the evening is in full swing. You nervous system feels safe with these friendly humans. And soon enough, everyone is here and the doors close as the guests gather into the main room and dance floor, to connect with each other in ceremony and ritual, to co-create a night of exploration of intimacy, relationship, sensuality and sexuality. A night where your every dream can become reality. Where sensuous gaze and delicious touch mingle to awaken your deepest desires.

This is your world, the world of Club Exotica.

A Playful Party is a fun underground private dance event—with bassy, seductive, enchanting and, dreamy music to move your body with your lower chakras and heart—and where all types of connections—from great conversations to sensual and even sexy play is allowed. No one is obligated to do anything in particular, however all are requested and encouraged to co-create a space of openness, a space of "yes", a space of respect and support. In that space, you are asked to co-create an abundance of freedom of expression, so you can be, do, desire, enjoy, and sensually play as you wish it, when you wish it—with yourself, another person, or group of people who want to do exactly the same thing.

An Playful Party is also a place to contribute your gifts and learn to connect with those you are attracted to (and even those you aren't), push your (and others) edges and boundaries, and a place to practice saying "no, but..." or "yes, and..." as you interact with others creatively! Remember to always read cues to feel out other people's interests: ASK before you touch, ASK before you stare, and always answer a request with an opportunity to engage in some other way. For example: a man asks a woman if he can kiss her. She says, smiling "no, but you can feed me a piece of chocolate". Be responsible for your own desires and fully own what you choose to say yes or no to. And remember: if you are not sure how to answer a request, make it a generous and compassionate "no"—until you are a full "yes", that is!

Playful Parties can either/both be spiritual or fun/playful events, and they most often incorporate some sort of storyline or characters that guests can impersonate, which we find can be very helpful in allowing for a more powerful or deeper experience.

If you find yourself wanting to "get" something from the party—rather than contributing and receiving in response to that contribution, or if you don't like playing with boundaries (stretching them, holding them, sharing them, especially in a sensual/sexual context)—then this party is probably not for you. Also, even though the lineup for a specific party might be totally awesome and you may just want to dance, you have to expect that this is the sort of party where you will be approached by people wanting to connect at sensual/sexual level (which might look like getting flirted with, hit on, appreciated, complimented, offered kisses, massage, etc). And while we find that people tend to be pretty good with their offerings and requests, there are definitely occasions where it's obvious they are still learning along with some awkwardness. In those cases, generosity, compassion and respect are always encouraged. Playful parties are a space of co-creation, and we are all figuring out how to best do this together!

All in all, Playful Parties are definitely not for everyone. For that reason, participating as a guest usually involves an RSVP process where you will share about yourself and how you are connected to the community, allowing us to get to know you a little bit and helping us create the best event by having exactly the right people present. One question we always ask is "How sexy are you? Why should we invite you to our event?". By "sexy", we don't mean in the classic societal way. Rather we mean "how empowered are you in your ability to open others and be open, to turn others and yourself on".

Playful Parties are for people who:

⭐ Have a hot, playful, and juicy personality

⭐ Are community-oriented and love contributing

⭐ Are clear, honest, and good communicators

⭐ Are a continuous yes in finding the bests ways to interact with others

⭐ Love to dress up

If you're not absolutely sure if you would be a good match for our event, please call us 415-505-0786 (Philippe) 510-917-5683 (Jocelyn) or email us clubexotica@gmail.com and we'll be delighted to help you figure that out.

For more details about how we play together as a community, see our Agreements page.

Solo Men at Our Events

At Club Exotica, we love our solo men just as much as we love any of our other solo humans and couples. We also recognize that other solo humans do want to meet solo men and not just a man who is with someone else as a couple....

We're definitely NOT a swingers crowd (which is generally FOCUSED on bisexual women and couples).

It's obvious when you attend our events: there's about as many men as there are other humans (or slightly more other humans). We don't require men to come with a gender-balance as is often done in other events. Instead, we balance the composition of our group on our end and would rather focus on the level of commitment we require of the people who come to out events. As such, we generally ask our solo men to rise up to a higher standard than the rest of our guests. Partly, this is so that we are able to pick the really awesome solo men who are willing to work just one bit harder than the others to make it to our events. We do this by asking the men to show us what they will be contributing to our events (instead of coming to "get" something) and we also often request that they ask a current or past lover to write a letter of recommendation about them.

Click here for additional details about this.